Water Colored Sky

oft I endure,

the wrath,

of the dreaded rain,

that burns my body,

needling its way inside,

filling with poison,

occupying,

residing,

eloping with destruction,

an ever lasting affair,

with my dreams,

a mirror of marred images,

distorted,

and jumbled  silhouettes,

with hazy outlines,

dreams of wild birds,

on an unnamed journey,

to anonymous destinations,

misled,

to keep wandering ,

in and around the melting sun,

free me,

detach me,

from your vicious clutches,

a plea ,

an appeal ,

let me go,

and bow down,

bend and wash off,

my evil attire,

of all the ego,

of all the pride ,

and consciousness ,

that keeps  my feet heavy,

must learn to submit,

give my self away completely,

not in parts ,

not keeping back any of me,

with me,

just reverence,

just submission.

you know I love you,

when the trees,

shed their leaves in spring,

when the tender branches,

let the snow reside on their body,

or may be when I spend my days,

lying flat on ice cubes,

or churning on burning coals,

that feel like the petals,

of the sweetest rose,

or the endless dark nights,

that seem decorated,

with  brightest of the fireworks,

or the thirst,

that builds each day,

with every breath and every sigh,

at the lips of the river,

of all those moments,

where seasons changed at a glance,

staying conscious,

felt like harm’s way,

seasons of prayers,

seasons of harmony,

seasons of you and me..

Accusing me of indifference!

how could you blame me?

do you not know me anymore?

not my heart?

not at all?

my heart that carried your secrets,

like the vastness of sea,

carrying pearls hidden in shells,

and in the deep of its blue water,

lies the warmth,

wave by wave,

washed at the shore,

taking back a little,

giving a little,

this sharing and exchanging,

keeps on going,

but your memory is too short,

too short to notice,

too short to acknowledge,

the exotic ways…

i kept you thriving,

and excited,

and momentous,

so you could build like a wave,

immense and mighty,

prodigious,

and colossal,

and then slowly,

i taught you to be gentle,

to  learn to crash,

to be humble,

to bow down,

to surrender,

to exhale,

to give,

to impart goodwill,

why have you forgotten?

all the lessons,

of submission,

of humility,

of commitment,

where is your unpretentious self?

which knew no conceit,

no arrogance,

lets stride you across the lanes,

of bits and pieces,

of hazy recollections,

reviving the glory,

hidden in those moments,

moments of self recognition,

meet yourself,

as in- meet me,

when one from the other,

was hardly distinguishable,

when the seasons,

of hope and joy,

would welcome you,

let you reside,

in every pore,

engulfing,

capturing the beats,

of the very heart,

that you now find no use of,

the very heart,

that knows no boundaries,

it is limitless,

and insane,

and jealously possessive,

it knows no ways of masking,

what i elegantly flaunt,

as a lover’s wish,

a prayer at the doorsteps of denial,

hope that is whispered,

with every sigh,

that you may live,

with ambition,

that the emptiness,

which crawls up and consumes,

making you inconspicuous,

that you may have,

of what is concealed and pure,

and that is visible,

a desire,

that faith may find you,

rest assured,

I am forgoing all that was,

and all that is..

kis shokhi-e- rang mein doobi hai jawani,

sab sach lagta hai ,

sab haq lagta hai,

her kali se ummeed,

her phool pe mannat hoti hai,

her subh suhani,

her khatra mol leney ko jee karta hai,

aur phir peeri dabbey paoon se,

zindagi daboch leti hai,

her kona thamey,

chaadar charo orh lipat jati hai,

raaz aur kahaniyan apni aghosh mein liyey,

chehrey ki silvatein,

aur hathon ki larzish,

aur gham e zamana,

tag o doh zindagi ki dor ki,

aur milney ki chaahat,

yeh bhee aur woh bhee,

sab be maani,

sab nakli tasaliyan,

kyunki  jab siyah badal,

umeed key khokley jism pe,

bina barish kiye laut jaein,

aur dhundley pul pe kadam dagmagaein,

tu ankhein moondein,

bina saharey chalna seekho,

khud pe bharosa,

apney wujood ko tatolo,

aur kismet ki rahon mein,

ek bazi tumhari hai,

khelo,

suraj dhalney tak,

fasana-e-hayaat jo samaj sako,

tu samajh lo…

Come to me,

again,

when the wants grow bigger,

seize the functionality of your being,

you would return and feed on my ‘givings’,

givings I so generously distribute,

depleting my reservoirs,

the ones I’ve locked away,

in a room full of bounties,

bounties that are for your taking,

with which I so merrily part,

Yours,

all yours….

for when I cease to exist,

my soul becomes you,

erasing all the distinctions.

I may not be an actual story,

but my soul wanders,

as your shadow,

in past,

present,

and future.

Who could find pleasure in taking,

when giving away becomes a habit.